or… What Would Ferris Bueller Do?
Did the apocalypse take you by surprise? Not to worry! Once you’re done with the obligatory crying, rending of hair, and gnashing of teeth, I’ve got a handy-dandy itinerary. You may want to print this one out and keep it on you for the rest of the day.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Strap in. Its going to be a busy day.
- Get up and drink as much coffee as you can tolerate. If you didn’t do everything on the list from yesterday, try to take care of some of that stuff now. Put on your costume (you did buy the costume yesterday, right?) and let’s get started.
- Call everyone you know – party at your house!
- Rent a Lamborgini or Ferarri. Don’t spring for the extra insurance scam. No matter what happens today, you’re not returning it in one piece.
- Drive in the carpool lane. Top down, no seatbelt. Why not have a drink?
- Try something totally new. Color your hair, get a tattoo, a piercing. Remember: There is no such thing as politically incorrect any more. How about a baby seal burger?
- Try something dangerous. Bungie jump, skydive, or swim with the sharks. Better yet, find a way to do all three at once – time’s a wastin’!
- Overpay and overtip EVERYWHERE you go. Have fun passing out money like its going out of style!
- Attend party at your house. This is where the caterers, fireworks, and champagne come in handy.
- Hookers for everyone!
- Last meal: Whatever you want to eat and drink, but you might as well try fugu too.
I like to think that Ferris Bueller would have approved of this plan.
If, by some truly freak occurrence, the Earth doesn’t get swallowed up by a black hole and we’re not stuck in a time loop, check back in tomorrow morning for a list of things ways to deal with the consequences of living like there’s no tomorrow.
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