Jun
13
2009
0

Life’s Too Short

I 3 Huckabees is the worst movie ever made

"I Heart Huckabees" is the worst movie ever made

Life’s too short to watch a bad movie. [1] Unfortunately, the only way to really determine whether a movie is bad is to wait until the end credits roll.[2]

I have a simple rule about watching movies that has saved me countless hours of agony.  I don’t care about reviews, awards won, who’s in the movie, what’s going on in the movie, or what’s about to happen.  If I’m not entertained within 30 minutes, I shut it off. [3]

Before I created this rule I sat through innumerable movies in the hopes that they might somehow get better.  Eventually I came to the realization that the people who made the movie boring me cannot be trusted to improve the movie before its end.

Don’t believe me?  Try and think of one good movie that bored you for the first half hour. [4]

What’s the worst movie you’ve seen?

  1. Like “I Heart Huckabees” the worst movie ever made.  Just go to YouTube.com and do a search for “I don’t heart Huckabees” to see what I mean. []
  2. Photo courtesy of Scootie. []
  3. Fifteen minutes for a TV program. []
  4. I can only think of one movie that falls into this category: Unforgiven.  Cinematography, acting, blah, blah, blah.  The movie was just barely worth it for the last fifteen minutes. []
Feb
18
2009
1

Road Warrior Checklist – Bad Weather

A Road Warrior is prepared for bad weather

A Road Warrior is prepared for bad weather

Here’s what my fortune cookie on Saturday night said:

My fortune

I rather enjoy putting my imaginative skills to work with these little doodles.  ANYhow, now that that’s out of the way…

The last few days I’ve had several appearances in less than ideal weather.  With no further ado, my Road Warrior Checklist for traveling in bad weather:

  • Timing. My rule of thumb is to leave 15 minutes earlier for every hour of a planned trip in bad weather.
  • Speed. Speeding will make you feel good about your pace, but will never save you a significant amount of time.
  • Pick the correct lane. There are a lot of factors involved in choosing the correct traveling lane.  Driving in the path of other vehicles ensures your tires are touching more of the road and less of the water.  Stay out of the fast lane if possible.  Get out of other people’s way when they want to pass.
  • Stay in the correct lane. Try not to change lanes.   There is a lot more water between lanes and more chances to hydroplane.
  • No Cruise Control! There is an urban myth that if your car is on cruise control and you start to hydroplane your vehicle will accelerate to make up for the loss in traction.  The reason the highway patrol recommends against the use of cruise control in wet weather is that you only have moments to react to hydroplaning by reducing speed and maintaining control of your vehicle.  Cruise control in these situations will deprive you of a few moments of a potential speed decrease (where you would take your foot off the gas) by maintaining your current speed.
  • Following distance. Other people are going to be driving like maniacs.  Always make sure you have plenty of following distance.
  • Brakes. If your brakes are squeaking, they’re already in bad shape.  Get them checked out and replaced regularly.
  • Tires. Get your tires rotated regularly, make sure they have plenty of tread, and make sure they are properly inflated.  Remember the penny test: if you stick a penny into the tread and can see the top of Lincoln’s head you need to replace your tires.
  • Windshield wiper blades. Worn blades will just smudge.  Just plan on replacing your windshield blades every year.  Don’t forget your rear windshield wipers!

Prior “Road Warrior Checklists

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