A new prescription for pain
- Q: Mr. Smith, what else helps alleviate your pain?
- A: [DELETED]
- Q: Counsel, maybe we should go off the record for a moment…
- Court reporters:
- “I need to get the spellings for a few words…”
- “Uh, could you translate that again?”
- Judge: Madam reporter, would you please read that back…
- WHEREFORE the above and foregoing, Defendants respectfully pray that this Board grant reconsideration and find Applicant refused reasonable prescribed medical treatment and should therefore be denied temporary disability benefits.
- Legal research:
- “$ This search is outside your research plan.”
- Medical treatment:
- “Actually, a telephone conference with my doctor should be sufficient.”
- “Where do I look this up under the ACOEM guidelines?”
- “Just how the crap am I supposed to write the damn utilization review appeal for this one???”
- “I’m sorry, doctor, I must have read this prescription wrong…”
- “Why is this doctor prescribing a speech therapist for a back injury?”
- “By the way, your nurse case manager is Andrew Dice Clay.”
- “Although my level of disability was lowered after SB 899, I sure find that talking about it helps.”
- “In other news, researchers in Nevada have found that gambling, hookers, and dry weather also reduce pain.”
I’m not really a workers’ compensation attorney, I’m really just a failed comic.
(Photo courtesy of Mike Licht)