This last weekend I stayed overnight at a hotel in Chico. In the planters next to the parking lot they had placed these disclaimers/warning labels that read, “OXFORD SUITE HOTEL NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WATER SPOTTING DUE TO SPRINKLERS.”1
This brought to mind any number of responses:
- “Oxford Suite Hotel not responsible for water”
- “Oxfor Suite Hotel not responsible for H2O on your H2”
- “Oxford Suite Hotel: You failed physics in high school, didn’t you?”
- “Oxford Suite Hotel: Newton and Einstein – what bastards!”
- “Oxford Suite Hotel: Life’s tough. Buy a helmet.”
- “Oxford Suite Hotel not responsible for the administration of midnight beating for people who complain about water spotting due to sprinklers. You brought that on yourself.”
I’m sure some idiot called their management to complain about how the sprinklers had left spots on their car. When you think about it, Oxford Suite Hotel should be responsible for the installation, functioning, and maintenance of their own sprinklers, just as people who own vehicles should be responsible for the care and maintenance of their own vehicles.
There’s no making some people happy. If they are going to complain about thier vehicle getting wet, while it’s outside, they’re going to complain about the lighting, the room, the service, the sheets, the ice being too cold, the A.C. being too loud, and the TV being too dry.
Here’s a decent business model: sprinklers automatically spray a customer’s car as soon as they pull up. If they moan about spotting, send them on their way. If they thank you for washing their car, offer them a complimentary breakfast with their stay.
In any case, I blame the huge evil sign industry that has purchased our elected officials.
- Sign, parking lot, shrubbery, and wood chips are the sole responsibility of Oxford Suite Hotel – no matter what disclaimers they put up. Photo by Jay Shergill, all rights reserved. [↩]